This past week has been overwhelming....
Last Sunday, The Latino American TV named me a Hero on their show. A segment was filmed highlighting a little of my life. It was a very well produced segment on the national syndicated program.
it was the first time on national TV that I shared a picture of David Ruiz, my best friend who shared about his HIV status wiht me over 19 years ago that led me to become an AIDS activist.
As I watched the program, I squirmed in my seat. I did not know what to expect. I did not know how I would react.
As I watched with family and friends, I realized that my life has been full and accomplished. I had a dream and it came true and people acknowledge and appreciate it. I also saw the picture of my friend on national TV as part of that segment.
While, David was out of the closet sort of, he really was not. it always took him awhile because he was scared that his co workers would find out about his sexuality. I remember a time when we all went to the March on Washington in 1987 where hundreds of thousands of us gathered. As we gathered in front of the California delegation, he shied away for fear that the television cameras for fear that he would be seen on a local TV station. As the march started I was in front savoring every moment of the energy for this historic occasion. He walked well beyond the banner until we were an hour into the march and then I saw him come and joined me with rainbow flag and marched along my side....I was so proud and so happy that he felt empowered to be able to seize the moment that way he did. So watching that part of the show and seeing his picture next to me, brought me to a very special moment. David died three years ago in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
This last Wednesday, i presented several awards on behalf of The Wall Las Memorias to Benjamin Bratt, Laura Diaz of CBS TV News and a good friend, Mario Perez who is with the County of Los Angeles.
On Saturday night, I attended the CNN Heroes taping and post party event. At the event, I met several honored heroes, but the most exciting experience was meeting some of the Chilean miners who attended and participated in the show, I was so thrilled to have met some powerful men, who survived through the grace of God. I had an opportunity of talking to them, taking pictures with them and even interviewed one of them.
I work countless hours but I also meet some of the best people one could ever imagine....
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Letter to Archbishop Jose H. Gomez
Your Eminence Jose H. Gomez, Coadjutor of Los Angeles
As a long time community leader and founder of The Wall-Las Memorias Project, welcome to Los Angeles, home to a community of great diversity rich in culture and beauty.
The Wall-Las Memorias Project is a nonprofit community based organization that constructed the first publicly funded AIDS monument in the nation. The AIDS monument creates a focal point to address the cultural denial, ignorance, shame and stigma that contribute to the epidemic. The organization provides education and prevention services to the community about HIV, substance abuse and community engagement in health disparities. The Wall-Las Memorias Project also provides HIV/AIDS education-prevention services to the Latino faith based community of Los Angeles County.
I write you as a practicing Catholic, a gay man, an AIDS activist and someone who prays for and dreams for the day that my church would do more to prevent AIDS.
In Los Angeles County, Latinos represent over 48% of the total population and yet Latinos represent roughly 1/3 of the county’s cumulative AIDS cases. In addition, the Office of AIDS Programs and Services state that:
• An estimated 62,000 people are living with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County;
• Over 50% of new HIV infections in Los Angeles County are spread by those who have it and don’t know it.
• 7 out of 10 people living with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County are gay or bisexual men.
• At the end of 2009 there were over 9,500 Latinos living with AIDS in Los Angeles County. This is the largest number of persons living with AIDS of any racial and ethnic group in the County.
• 70% of women with AIDS in Los Angeles County were infected with HIV through heterosexual intercourse.
As you can see, HIV/AIDS is still a major problem for our community.
Roughly 70% of our Los Angeles Latinos identify as Catholic and our church has been absent from the conversation and education-prevention efforts surrounding HIV.
Cardinal Roger Mahoney created an archdiocesan AIDS ministry. With its small group of volunteers it has worked hard to make a difference, but it has stopped short of culturally sensitive education-prevention outreach to the Latino population.
A study was commissioned by the Los Angeles County Office of AIDS Programs and Policy in 2004 and was conducted by BaumanCurry and Company and Data Trends of which both institutions are well respected in the African American and Latino community.
In that study, researchers found that very little outreach was being conducted to Latino Catholic parishioners. An example, of the AIDS Ministry’s claim that there were 25 to 30 churches that had an active AIDS ministry only three had been confirmed by the study. Another study was conducted jointly in 2009 by the Center for Latino Community of NCLR/University of California-Long Beach and The Wall-Las Memorias Project and then again those findings were confirmed.
In our Project Faith program, we outreach and provide HIV prevention-education services to numerous Latino faith-based institutions in Los Angeles County and many are Roman Catholic parishes. There is never a promotion of condom use.
It is not just the ignorance that promotes HIV. It is also the unsafe sexual behavior that promotes HIV and other STD’s. Issues such as: machismo, silence, poverty, immigration status, ignorance, social status, homophobia, substance abuse and stigma contribute to unsafe sex behaviors. Therefore, our prevention efforts must include faith and our church to have an impact in changing behaviors. The church’s social justice outreach must be more than just on the immigration issue. It must embrace the hungry, homeless, those with drug problems, the marginalized, and those who are spiritually bankrupt.
Our people are hungry for love, compassion and respect for who they are, not for what they are supposed to be. I ask you for a new and creative way of addressing HIV/AIDS; to know and accept the limitations that exist when we fail to work collaboratively as a community.
And because so many AIDS cases are due unsafe sex among gay and bisexual men, I pray that you create a place at the table for all of our brothers and sisters who want to be part of the Catholic family. There is a way to accommodate so many of our Angelinos and at the same time not ignoring the principles of the church doctrine. Accommodation!
Together we must lower AIDS in our community and bring back the marginalized Latino community back to the table.
Sincerely,
Richard L. Zaldivar
Executive Director/Founder
The Wall-Las Memorias
As a long time community leader and founder of The Wall-Las Memorias Project, welcome to Los Angeles, home to a community of great diversity rich in culture and beauty.
The Wall-Las Memorias Project is a nonprofit community based organization that constructed the first publicly funded AIDS monument in the nation. The AIDS monument creates a focal point to address the cultural denial, ignorance, shame and stigma that contribute to the epidemic. The organization provides education and prevention services to the community about HIV, substance abuse and community engagement in health disparities. The Wall-Las Memorias Project also provides HIV/AIDS education-prevention services to the Latino faith based community of Los Angeles County.
I write you as a practicing Catholic, a gay man, an AIDS activist and someone who prays for and dreams for the day that my church would do more to prevent AIDS.
In Los Angeles County, Latinos represent over 48% of the total population and yet Latinos represent roughly 1/3 of the county’s cumulative AIDS cases. In addition, the Office of AIDS Programs and Services state that:
• An estimated 62,000 people are living with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County;
• Over 50% of new HIV infections in Los Angeles County are spread by those who have it and don’t know it.
• 7 out of 10 people living with HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County are gay or bisexual men.
• At the end of 2009 there were over 9,500 Latinos living with AIDS in Los Angeles County. This is the largest number of persons living with AIDS of any racial and ethnic group in the County.
• 70% of women with AIDS in Los Angeles County were infected with HIV through heterosexual intercourse.
As you can see, HIV/AIDS is still a major problem for our community.
Roughly 70% of our Los Angeles Latinos identify as Catholic and our church has been absent from the conversation and education-prevention efforts surrounding HIV.
Cardinal Roger Mahoney created an archdiocesan AIDS ministry. With its small group of volunteers it has worked hard to make a difference, but it has stopped short of culturally sensitive education-prevention outreach to the Latino population.
A study was commissioned by the Los Angeles County Office of AIDS Programs and Policy in 2004 and was conducted by BaumanCurry and Company and Data Trends of which both institutions are well respected in the African American and Latino community.
In that study, researchers found that very little outreach was being conducted to Latino Catholic parishioners. An example, of the AIDS Ministry’s claim that there were 25 to 30 churches that had an active AIDS ministry only three had been confirmed by the study. Another study was conducted jointly in 2009 by the Center for Latino Community of NCLR/University of California-Long Beach and The Wall-Las Memorias Project and then again those findings were confirmed.
In our Project Faith program, we outreach and provide HIV prevention-education services to numerous Latino faith-based institutions in Los Angeles County and many are Roman Catholic parishes. There is never a promotion of condom use.
It is not just the ignorance that promotes HIV. It is also the unsafe sexual behavior that promotes HIV and other STD’s. Issues such as: machismo, silence, poverty, immigration status, ignorance, social status, homophobia, substance abuse and stigma contribute to unsafe sex behaviors. Therefore, our prevention efforts must include faith and our church to have an impact in changing behaviors. The church’s social justice outreach must be more than just on the immigration issue. It must embrace the hungry, homeless, those with drug problems, the marginalized, and those who are spiritually bankrupt.
Our people are hungry for love, compassion and respect for who they are, not for what they are supposed to be. I ask you for a new and creative way of addressing HIV/AIDS; to know and accept the limitations that exist when we fail to work collaboratively as a community.
And because so many AIDS cases are due unsafe sex among gay and bisexual men, I pray that you create a place at the table for all of our brothers and sisters who want to be part of the Catholic family. There is a way to accommodate so many of our Angelinos and at the same time not ignoring the principles of the church doctrine. Accommodation!
Together we must lower AIDS in our community and bring back the marginalized Latino community back to the table.
Sincerely,
Richard L. Zaldivar
Executive Director/Founder
The Wall-Las Memorias
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Happiness is celebrating my 20 years of Sobriety A Perspective of my Journey
Alcoholism has one definition and yet many in our community cannot define it and/or choose not to…
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, alcoholism is defined as continued excessive or compulsive use of alcoholic drinks, poisoning by alcohol; a chronic disorder marked by excessive and usually compulsive drinking of alcohol leading to psychological and physical dependence or addiction.
In the Latino community the issue is not discussed. It is a subject of taboo, rich of denial and secrets. An alcoholic was someone that drank daily, hostile and unemployed, a person who was lazy and weak. A man was supposed to be able to put down a few beers and a shot of tequila or two. That behavior was macho. A drink or two with the boys was expected of you. And so that is what I was taught.
As a young man, I worked in community service and political campaigns. Often I would look forward to the weekend to hanging out with my friends, dancing, drinking. Being seen at various clubs was the thing to do. It was fun; rejuvenating and it provided me the opportunity to simply “kick it”.
My drinking was purely social. After a long week at work, I would join my friends for a night on the town. We would often stop at several clubs, to listen to music, meet some people and dance. Drinking a few screwdrivers would always help me “loosen up”. If that did not work then maybe a few more would help me unwind. It was all for a good time, and again on Saturday and sometimes on Sunday. Whatever I had to do just to relax….
When Monday came, it was back to work. Now, according to what I learned earlier in my life, I did not have a problem. As the years progressed, so did my drinking. Don’t get me wrong. I did not drink everyday just like I thought a drunk would. I drank only when I was stressed.
In my twenties and thirties my work in the community and in politics increased. On many days my calendar included dealing with constituent services from the field office from 9:00a.m to 6:00p.m.
But when most people would call it quits at that time, the second part of the day would start for me, which included a few receptions and a community meeting or a banquet dinner before I would call it a day.
Now mind you, going to cocktail receptions and dinner banquets was not an easy task. My life was filled with fear and intimidation. Attending these types of events only enhanced those feelings. As an over accomplisher in life and one that rose up the ranks at a rapid pace was not comforting. I attended those events and performed in my job tremendously insecure and feeling inadequate. People asked me, “how can you feel so insecure? You are aggressive and passionate. You speak so well”. My response was always the same…..If I was in my comfort zone, I was ok…But, not being in my comfort zone would throw me into discomfort and anxiety. The only thing that would comfort me in those receptions and dinners was the cocktail hour for a glass of wine or several. And then the post dinner drink. Didn’t everyone do that?
And so that was my life until I had a spiritual intervention. That was twenty years ago when I lived in Alhambra, when my body was trying to connect to my soul but it could not. I had often experienced depression through my life. When I was sixteen, our family doctor prescribed valium to me to help me cope. So feeling low and lonely was not new to me. However at this moment in time, I had hit my bottom. I had nowhere to go. I was in spiritual limbo and an emotional hell. Although, I had my loving family and friends; I was ALONE.
It was twenty years ago this month, that I sought help. That help was not asked from humankind, but a power that I relinquished my self to. I asked that power to help me…only if I helped myself.
After that experience, I gave up and was forced to accept my road before me. And then it happened. Doors opened. Crisis brought understanding and the darkness started to lift.
For the past twenty years, I faced the enormities that life could ever pose. I buried my parents in one year in which I lost my best friend who was my wonderful mom. I had broken up with several partners who in retrospect contributed to the insanity and at the same time to my stability. Many of my closet friends died to AIDS. And it was very lonely for me.
But through all this I was given the opportunity to walk forward even if it was one step at a time. The stagnation in my life was poisonous to my well being. So in the past twenty years, I met the challenges that life served. I was given the opportunity to dream and realize those dreams and connect the dots.
Being a Catholic Latino, I learned young to always be grateful for what you have and when you have the opportunity to give back to do so. And so my dream to construct a monument to honor people who died from AIDS was the best opportunity to pay back that power in the sky. The monument was dedicated on December 1, 2004. It gave me the opportunity to contribute something to the community. But more important of all it gave me the opportunity to fuffill my commitment to give back. The force that helped me on that cold a dreary day in February had made a dream come true.
The monument was not the only great thing that happened to me. It also was the people that have come into my life. It has been life's own experiences. I have seen places that I always wanted to see. It enhanced my opportunity to grow and grow.
People are in my life today that I am most grateful for and I love them dearly. Their own life stories have personally given me hope and taught me ways to live.
According to a study by the UCLA Center for Research, Education, Training, and Communication on Minority Health Disparities published in 2003 15.8% Latinos reported binge drinking (5 drinks or more) during a one month period of the study. During that same time, the national average was 25.9% while 42% of Latinos nationally drank alcohol.
Alcoholism in our community has been in epidemic proportions. More deadly has been the silence that surrounds this issue.
As for me, this happens to be just one more day of my life….
For more information on Alcoholism among Latinos, please visit “Alcoholism and its effect on Latinos: by Dulce Aponte.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/974628/latinos_and_alcoholism_counseling_and_pg2.html?cat=47
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, alcoholism is defined as continued excessive or compulsive use of alcoholic drinks, poisoning by alcohol; a chronic disorder marked by excessive and usually compulsive drinking of alcohol leading to psychological and physical dependence or addiction.
In the Latino community the issue is not discussed. It is a subject of taboo, rich of denial and secrets. An alcoholic was someone that drank daily, hostile and unemployed, a person who was lazy and weak. A man was supposed to be able to put down a few beers and a shot of tequila or two. That behavior was macho. A drink or two with the boys was expected of you. And so that is what I was taught.
As a young man, I worked in community service and political campaigns. Often I would look forward to the weekend to hanging out with my friends, dancing, drinking. Being seen at various clubs was the thing to do. It was fun; rejuvenating and it provided me the opportunity to simply “kick it”.
My drinking was purely social. After a long week at work, I would join my friends for a night on the town. We would often stop at several clubs, to listen to music, meet some people and dance. Drinking a few screwdrivers would always help me “loosen up”. If that did not work then maybe a few more would help me unwind. It was all for a good time, and again on Saturday and sometimes on Sunday. Whatever I had to do just to relax….
When Monday came, it was back to work. Now, according to what I learned earlier in my life, I did not have a problem. As the years progressed, so did my drinking. Don’t get me wrong. I did not drink everyday just like I thought a drunk would. I drank only when I was stressed.
In my twenties and thirties my work in the community and in politics increased. On many days my calendar included dealing with constituent services from the field office from 9:00a.m to 6:00p.m.
But when most people would call it quits at that time, the second part of the day would start for me, which included a few receptions and a community meeting or a banquet dinner before I would call it a day.
Now mind you, going to cocktail receptions and dinner banquets was not an easy task. My life was filled with fear and intimidation. Attending these types of events only enhanced those feelings. As an over accomplisher in life and one that rose up the ranks at a rapid pace was not comforting. I attended those events and performed in my job tremendously insecure and feeling inadequate. People asked me, “how can you feel so insecure? You are aggressive and passionate. You speak so well”. My response was always the same…..If I was in my comfort zone, I was ok…But, not being in my comfort zone would throw me into discomfort and anxiety. The only thing that would comfort me in those receptions and dinners was the cocktail hour for a glass of wine or several. And then the post dinner drink. Didn’t everyone do that?
And so that was my life until I had a spiritual intervention. That was twenty years ago when I lived in Alhambra, when my body was trying to connect to my soul but it could not. I had often experienced depression through my life. When I was sixteen, our family doctor prescribed valium to me to help me cope. So feeling low and lonely was not new to me. However at this moment in time, I had hit my bottom. I had nowhere to go. I was in spiritual limbo and an emotional hell. Although, I had my loving family and friends; I was ALONE.
It was twenty years ago this month, that I sought help. That help was not asked from humankind, but a power that I relinquished my self to. I asked that power to help me…only if I helped myself.
After that experience, I gave up and was forced to accept my road before me. And then it happened. Doors opened. Crisis brought understanding and the darkness started to lift.
For the past twenty years, I faced the enormities that life could ever pose. I buried my parents in one year in which I lost my best friend who was my wonderful mom. I had broken up with several partners who in retrospect contributed to the insanity and at the same time to my stability. Many of my closet friends died to AIDS. And it was very lonely for me.
But through all this I was given the opportunity to walk forward even if it was one step at a time. The stagnation in my life was poisonous to my well being. So in the past twenty years, I met the challenges that life served. I was given the opportunity to dream and realize those dreams and connect the dots.
Being a Catholic Latino, I learned young to always be grateful for what you have and when you have the opportunity to give back to do so. And so my dream to construct a monument to honor people who died from AIDS was the best opportunity to pay back that power in the sky. The monument was dedicated on December 1, 2004. It gave me the opportunity to contribute something to the community. But more important of all it gave me the opportunity to fuffill my commitment to give back. The force that helped me on that cold a dreary day in February had made a dream come true.
The monument was not the only great thing that happened to me. It also was the people that have come into my life. It has been life's own experiences. I have seen places that I always wanted to see. It enhanced my opportunity to grow and grow.
People are in my life today that I am most grateful for and I love them dearly. Their own life stories have personally given me hope and taught me ways to live.
According to a study by the UCLA Center for Research, Education, Training, and Communication on Minority Health Disparities published in 2003 15.8% Latinos reported binge drinking (5 drinks or more) during a one month period of the study. During that same time, the national average was 25.9% while 42% of Latinos nationally drank alcohol.
Alcoholism in our community has been in epidemic proportions. More deadly has been the silence that surrounds this issue.
As for me, this happens to be just one more day of my life….
For more information on Alcoholism among Latinos, please visit “Alcoholism and its effect on Latinos: by Dulce Aponte.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/974628/latinos_and_alcoholism_counseling_and_pg2.html?cat=47
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